Thursday, January 31, 2013

It's A Big Ole Rewinder...

Hey, hey, hey!  I'm baaaaaack!  I know most of you were expecting a recap on Monday of my awesome weekend, but life just seems to get in my way ALOT lately.  My apologies to the fullest...

Just a Selfie to provide a visual since it's been so long since I've posted! 
Saturday stared off with Brecken and I heading to the city to meet up with Holly and Molly.  We thought the day was going to be great as we hit 4's on the gas pump and saw an Amish Buggy within like 30 seconds of each other!  And no, I have no clue if seeing an Amish Buggy means good luck... we just made that shit up! You're welcome, feel free to use it!
Then this happened... 
We stopped at the Ward Parkway Shopping Center so that we could pick up our race packets at Garry Gribbles. 
Side Story - I even got fitted for some awesome new shoes AND found out I have double-wide status feet.  The salesdude was trying to be so nice and not call my feet fat, even though I kept trying to get him to slip up and say it.  But yes, now at the age of 30 I have for the first time learned that I not only need "wide" shoes (I knew that) but I need "double-wide" shoes; technical name "2E"...could they make it sound any worse?  Normal width is B, wide is D and double-wide...well that's 2E!  I don't know that I even knew that existed, but doesn't it just scream FAT FEET?  I think so, but they were however the most comfortable fit/shoe I've ever tried on; so for that THANK YOU Garry Gribbles salesdude - you are now my hero!
OK, we were on our way out so we could get some lunch - we were starving (and Brecken had the genius idea to make me lose my Noodles & Company V-Card - I was not impressed) and then we walked up on this mess!  Like who the hell bumps/hits a car and doesn't back up?  If I were this dude, I would have not only backed up, but also changed parking spots!  There were so many people and stores and a 24 Hour Fitness that there was no way I was going to wait around to see who's car it was...instead I left a mean/nice note and then blasted them on both FB and my Homegirl!
I left my cell number on the note and told them they could call me if they wanted to see the pictures...surprisingly they called and we had a little conversation, it went a little something like this...
Me: Hello
Dude: Hey, yeah.  There was a note on my car that said I hit someones car?
Me: Oh yeah, you totally hit my car.
Dude: There's no way, absolutely no way...
Me: Um...yeah there is I have pictures... Is this your cell number?  I'll text them to you.
Dude: No this is my home phone I don't have a cell phone...
Me: Well isn't that convenient.
Dude:  My brother does those, here is his number...
Me: I'm not writing it down, you have my number just have him text me and I'll send you the pics.
Dude: Ok, ok...but there is no way I hit your car, I would have known.
Me: Well you did, promise.  You kissed my car and just left them that way...
Dude: (Stuttering non-sense)
Me:  Look there wasn't any damage, I just wanted you to know you hit my car and that next time you should probably at least back up off of the bumper if you hit one...that's it...
Dude: I still don't know how I hit your car and didn't know...
Me: Just text me..
I soon received a text from "his brother" and then sent back the pictures...he then responded via text "I'm very glad there is no damage, my apologies to the fullest!"  What a dumb ass!
B and I then headed to the hotel to take a quick power nap before Holly and Molly arrived.
 We decided on Cheesecake Factory for dinner and we originally thought about waiting until 7:30, but we were all hangry so we headed out a little before 6:30 and thank goodness we did - the wait was 1.5-2 hours! Holy Shit!  Thankfully, Forever21 was right next door so we went and did a little shopping!  Holly provided the epic photo and accompany entertainment below!  Brecken actually bought the denim vest, but was definitely having doubts after Holly's version!  LOL... B, I know you will rock it!  Amanda and my IRL friend, Fallyne also met up with us at Cheesecake Factory and joined us for our shopping spree and dinner!
 Once we finally got a table, the food was delicious and they even decorated my cheesecake plate for my birthday!  I requested NO SINGING but you know Holly wasn't gonna let that shit happen!  She proceeded to BELT out Happy Birthday solo-style until a random waiter-man and the other girls joined in!  I could have killed her!  Love you, Holly!
 After dinner we went to a little pub and about half a drink in decided since we weren't getting waste faced that we were incredibly too old to be there and headed back to the hotel in order to be bright and bushy-tailed for our 10K in the AM (we really aren't this lame on a regular night out).
 7:30am came early and I was not a happy camper, but we all got up and dressed and headed out to Hunt Midwest Subtropolis for the Groundhog Run!  The run is underground through these man-made caves.  It was a super cool experience, but also tiring, long and sometimes dark and a little scary! It was dim inside the caves and there were no mile markers or anything so it just felt like you were running forever with no clue where you were or how far you had gone or had left to go.  When we finally hit the end of the first lap (halfway mark), I remember thinking "No fucking way that was only 3 miles!"  In the end, Holly and I ran the whole 6.2 miles pretty much side by side.  Brecken kicked our asses (she ran in college), Molly intervaled pretty much the entire second half of the run and then thought it would be cute to blow past Holly and I the last 1/2 mile! Of course, this sparked something in Holly and me and we took off right after her!  We all finished within steps of each other, it was a great way to end the race!  Amanda ran the 10K too, she didn't have any music (because there was no cell service in the caves so her Pandora didn't work) and that would have killed me, but she finished strong and got it done!
I received this Good Luck picture of Bean!  I missed her sweet little face!
Yesterday this happened...Bean turned ONE!  Still seems unreal that a whole year has gone by already!  She rocked my world when she was born and I remember thinking "What the hell have I done and gotten myself into!"  Not only because she was another child, but because she is a girl!  I'm not normally good with girls...I much prefer dudes!  But now, now I can't remember how life was without her!  Her big party is scheduled for this Sunday - yes, I know, it's Super I care, not one bit!  I will post a picture recap of Sunday next week!
 Yesterday was chalk full of excitement!  In addition to Bean turning ONE, Momma went for her BOOBIE consultation!  Can I get a Yee-haw!?  I have wanted to get my boobies done since before I even had kids!  I am super my right one is a good 1/2 cup size bigger then the left!  This leads to me not being able to wear stripes and EVERYTHING always pulls to the right.  I've always had big(ger) boobs, I was a full C before kids and now I'm a good-sized D.  I had in my head implants, but quickly realized that wasn't what I was going to end up with at yesterday's appointment!  As soon as they asked what size I currently am and I said D - the nurse was like..."and you want implants?  You better show me what you go!" so off the shirt/bra went and she immediately was like, you need a lift - not implants!  In the back of my mind I had a feeling this was the way it was going to go.  See I've always had this idea that a lift meant cutting my nipples off and then reattaching them and this girl LOVES her nipples, so the thought of them being cut off and put back freaked me out!  I do not want "dead" nipples!  Doctor explained that it is very unlikely that my nipples will go dead, he did say some people experience some diminished sensation for a couple months, but that it normally comes back.  He also explains that he will not/does not cut my nipple off - it will never be unattached from my body!  Thank you sweet baby Jesus!  After he showed me what they would look like and where they would be after the lift I was amazed!  My only other concern was whether or not a lift alone would address the asymmetry - he said that he will probably do liposuction on the big one to bring the volume down to match the smaller one and then do the lift.  So basically my boobs will be a little smaller (which is fine with me) afterwards!  Now, a lift is more expensive than doing implants by about $1,500 so I had to talk The Husband back off the ledge (again) and into the additional expense - which wasn't very hard!  Happy wife, happy life - right?!  RIGHT!  I am now scheduled for Tuesday, March 5th @ 9am!  What!? What!?  If anyone has any questions about the procedure or cost, etc. email me - I'm more than happy to share that info, I just wasn't going to blast how much the whole thing is going to cost here on the blog.  Best part - he said that the recovery for the lift is harder initially, but that as soon as the incisions are completely heeled (3-4 weeks) I can start running again!  Unlike with implants, the muscles aren't affected by the lift which is what usually causes issues working out after implants.  I will also be swimsuit and bra-free ready for Cancun!  Yay!
Here I am on my way to the consult!  And that is my doctor, he is kinda old-balls, but attractive..
I can't have a post and not mention Mr. Jack!  This was last night...he was Big Foot Huntin' - notice his shirt! Love him! 
Lastly, I started my 10 Day Herbal Cleanse from Advocare yesterday!  You basically have a Fiber Drink that is disgusting, Cleanse Pills and Probiotic Pills.  The goal is to eat clean during the cleanse and start new/better eating far so good!  I'm also doing Spark again - love me some Spark!  I used to drink like 5-6 cans of Dt. Dr. Pepper each and every single day.  I used Spark when I quit drinking soda (a few months back) and it totally worked!  I went from 5-6 cans/day to nothing and maintained it for 8 weeks!  So I'm doing it again along with the cleanse, not only as a replacement for the soda, but it also helps/aids in the Cleanse.  I don't know the deets, I'm not good with that crap, but my girl, Molly sells Advocare so if you have questions hit her up!
The Fiber Drink is the worst part!  It's supposedly Citrus flavored, but it's thick and chunky and things float around in it!  I usually just use like ice cold water, mix and chug it immediately!  If you let it sit it starts to literally thicken...YUCK!

I have now concluded the longest blog post ever!  Thanks for sticking around to the end!  Love you, Bitches!



  1. Hilarious! Your doc really is an "intellectual hottie" I'd let him feel and fill me up! But I'm still disappointed in the fact that cleanse taste nasty! Being on the Oreo cleanse! Lol

  2. So proud of us for finishing that damn race. I thought it might kill me, turns out it made me stronger. BOOM groundhog run, take that! (Fist pump goes here)

    Yay for boobie lift, can't wait to see the new ladies (in the most non-lez sounding way), that's weird.

    Love you friend! And happy late birthday, Bean!

  3. Your little bean is so cute! The time flies by way too fast. I am so happy for you. I think a lift is better since you won't have to worry any problems with implants. AWESOME! You are going to show before and after pictures, right?

  4. Great post 2E!

    (your new nickname)

  5. Glad you had some time with your girls. Good for you for showing that male wanksta that he's a douche when it comes to parking.

  6. Love your convo with the bad driver dude! And men say women are bad drivers!!

    Super jealous of boobies! I need implants since I am a small B! Good luck!

  7. Dang gurl, your post made me tired!!!! I was trying to read it all fast because I imagine you were typing up a storm trying to get all that out! HAHA

    Happy birthday Bean!!! She is adorbs...

    And I can't tell you how jealous I am of your boobie consultation...I am TRYING to get the husband to finally let me get mine. I was going to years ago and I ended up getting pregnant...EFF!

  8. So glad you had a great bday weekend and so proud of you running the whole race! Plus bean and Jack are super cute, plus i def LOL'd at the picture of you and the doctor..can I see your boobs when they're done? I'm serious. Come on Twin!

  9. Awesome job on the race, that is a great time! Ok, I want to know, what exactly do they do with a lift? I always thought they moved the nipple too. And happy birthday to you and the girly, she is too cute. A year goes by so fast doesn't it?! My babe turned one on Tuesday but it feels like he was born yesterday.

  10. Awesome job on the scary zombie run. Because iChat's the only way I would run in a cave. If zombies were a chasing me. I'm excited to hear about the "girls". I'm getting that and the inks nip tuck to the gut when I reach my goal weight. So you can go sans a hrs with a lift? Cost? Healing? Girl fill me in on the deets. Not that I would be traveling to get it done but info can't hurt.

  11. 3 things...

    1. You are NEVER too old to be anywhere - just tell everyone you are 25 - they have no clue.
    2. I am so excited for the (.)(.)'s I can't wait to hear all about it and SEE them. BAH.. kidding - somewhat.
    3. Your face in the last pic had me rolling.

  12. Congrats on your run!!! I am jealous of your lift. I'm totes doing it after I'm done with babies!!

  13. SO I have the opposite problem with my feet. They are really narrow but so big, so it's like I have two long sticks attached to my feet. I seriously look like such a clown and because they're so long I need a big size but they're so narrow that the shoes just fall off. I would give anything to have a "wide" size- and don't worry- no one thinks that means fat at all! Just found your blog and have enjoyed your writing! I'm excited to read more.

    new follower :)

  14. That's a whole lotta info to take in! Whew, busy weekend! First off, yay for the boobies. I am so excited for you. I really want to do something with mine maybe once I hit 35. Or like a goal for when I get my Jillian Michaels hard body back (hah). I want a lift and a little implant. Second, so this Spark deal, is that a drink? I need to get off the Dr Pepper but I just can't quit it! And third, you have such pretty babies!