Friday, January 31, 2014

Darci's DietBet

Hey Y'all!  Quick post!  I just created a new DietBet that will start this Monday (11/3)!  The buy-in is only $20!  Go to www.dietbet.com and search "Darci's DietBet" or just click HERE!

If you are new to DietBet here's the skinny, pun intended, everyone pays the buy-in fee and submits their starting weight through the submission of 2 pictures (it's all private, no one has to see your pictures, no worries), the challenge is 4 weeks long and at the end of the 4 weeks whoever has lost 4% of their starting weight will split the total pot of the game!  The process will be the same for submitting your final weight at the end of the game!  I've done quite a few DietBet's and I love them every time - although I haven't always met my goal, the personal challenge is a great motivator!  Yay!

I did happen to notice that there is another DietBet game scheduled to start the same day with the name "Darcie's DietBet" that's not me!  Make sure you join the correct one..."Darci's DietBet" I don't have an E in my name!  Eek!

Join me, won't you?!  Xoxo

Say Whaaaaaaaat?!

Three Words: Gum. Tissue. Graft.

Say Whaaaaaat?!

Please tell me someone has heard of this?! No? Well until yesterday I hadn't either...but lucky for me I will get to experience not one, not two, but THREE gum tissue grafts in approximately three weeks time! Oy...

So here's the short story, I have GREAT teeth, but shit gums (who knew).  I went to a Periodontist yesterday who said, "Oh year, we need to do grafts...these are too far gone, you've already had bone loss and your roots are starting to show in a couple places..." Say Whaaaaaaaaat?! I guess you can't always have your cake and eat it too, I have nice ass teeth, like not one cavity in my adult teeth, but she said I have thin, weak gums and that little muscle thing that attaches your lip to your face I guess - well it's too short?!  I don't know, but basically that combo, along with getting Invisalign about 6 years back and shifting all my teeth was the perfect recipe for making sure I drop a GRAND PER TOOTH on this gum tissue graft BS (thank goodness for dental insurance, which will totally help with the cost)!


The procedure; they basically shave gum tissue from the roof of my mouth and then I guess graft, sew, glue, whatever the roof tissue to my gums.  I'm talking my bottom teeth, the two in the middle and then the one to the right.  It's all done under local anesthesia, even though I'd prefer to be knocked out, so I can drive myself there and drive myself home, picking up lots of high dosage narcotics on the way!  She did say that I'd be sore for 5-10 days, but that I wouldn't be sore at the graft site, but rather where they take the tissue from on the roof of my mouth!  I'm quoting this, "Have you ever burnt your mouth on like a hot piece of pizza?  Yeah, it's like that, but think 100 times worse!" Say Whaaaaaat?!

This shit storm is scheduled to go down on February 20th...until then, let's leave this as a to be continued...


Thursday, January 30, 2014

That Is So Not Ok...

I know I'm not the only super hot chick with a bikini not ready body, that looks around this great big world we live in and just thinks "That is so not ok!?"  It's very similar to What.The.Fuck? or Is.That.For.Real? I know you know what I'm talking about and we all do it...like all the time.

Lately, I've been seeing alot of repeat offenders, which got me thinking...maybe people don't know these things are so not ok and maybe I should help them, thus brings you my brilliant idea for today's post! Yay!

Let's get to it...

[one] Leggings that show your camel toe...not ok... 

I'm totally #teamleggingsaspants just like the next girl, but for the LOVE ladies! Look in the mirror and check that big toe, it's the biggest one on your body; if you can see it CHANGE YOUR SHIRT!  



[two] Ball Sack Trailer Hitches...not ok...

I established this yesterday in my SWW post, but I just don't understand why?  And I sure as shit don't understand the obligatory picture sitting on your ball sack?!



[three] Plucked to Jesus Eyebrows...not ok...

I've said it before and I will say it a million times more if needed; PUT DOWN THE TWEEZERS AND BACK AWAY!  I think we can all agree none of these look ok?!




[four] Dudes that take gym selfies...not ok...

I know I'm one to talk about gym selfies or selfies in genreal for that matter, but #imsorryimnotsorry I just can't take a dude seriously that takes gym selfies. I can't. Period.



[five] Matching your eye shadow to your shirt...not ok...

If you are Selena Gomez, you can do whatever you want - even though, personally, it still looks jacked! If not, well, I wish you luck. It's just not a good look!


I'm going to bounce now that I've sufficiently probably insulted EVERYONE!  Just remember, these are my personal opinions and are in no way directed at any single individual in particular. 

What have you seen lately that had you saying "That is so not ok?!"



Wednesday, January 29, 2014

So What!? Wednesday...

Short on time!  Short on material!  I know you miss my face...You're Welcome!

Life After I Dew




Monday, January 27, 2014

Mother F'n Monday...

Yahooooooo! It's Mother F'n Monday!  Although, since it was my BIRTHDAY week(end) I don't have much to complain about today and since I'm short on time I'm just going to leave you with a Flipagram recapping my AMAZING weekend!  


Thank You All So Much for all the awesome birthday wishes!  Totally made this girl feel SPECIAL!

Monday, January 20, 2014

Mother F'n Monday...

Instead of the totes norm Weekend Review post that everyone and their cute little 5 pound dogs will be doing this AM...I've decided to branch out and give you the VERY first edition of Mother F'n Monday! These posts will be dedicated to kick'n the week off right and just lay'n it all out there like you just don't give a F... Feel free to join in, who knows how these posts will spread and evolve over time seeing as though I'm making this up literally as I type from one word to the next... You're Welcome!

Now, let's get to what has been driving me totally, completely, bat-shit cray this past week...

[one]  Going on a hunt around the world just to find a matching pair of Norah's socks!  I.Give.Up. Norah will either be a trend-setter, and bring the whole kooky mismatched socks thing in style, or she will forever be banished to "That One" lunch table before she even hits preschool.  And honestly, at this point I've wasted so many of my 45 minutes of morning awake time (morning awake time = getting not only the children up, dressed, fed BUT also myself up and dressed...oh and throw a dog in there for shits and giggles!) looking for her damn socks!  No one else has this problem in the house, just her?!  W.T.F.

[two]  If I hear Jack say "Uuuuggggggghhh!  Why I gotta do everything all the time?" One.More.Time. I might lose my Mother F'n mind, like whoa! Really? Really? Did he just say that?

[three]  Oscar... #enoughsaid

[four]  Jillian Michaels! I know there is some big JM contest going on and I'm not dogging anyone that's doing it because y'all know I like to be working on my fitness too, but there is literally only so much one person can take of That Woman's Mug! For.Real.  However, I am almost intrigued to try her Yoga workouts based on the shit being shoved down My HomeGirls throat...eek...almost...maybe!

[five]  Jeans!  I hate them again!  Hate...



Wednesday, January 8, 2014

So What! Wednesday

Yay! for Hump Day!  I'm telling you between being off work for the holidays and then being snowed in, my life schedule is like whoa, totally out of whack!  It sucks!  I feel lazy and chubby...it is what it is!

Life After I Dew


This week I'm saying So What! if...

  • I'm already shitting my pants thinking about Jack wrestling this weekend for the FIRST time!  Say a little prayer that there isn't some BA little 4 year old that just beats the hell out of him!  Eek! #wrestlingmom 
  • I do yoga in my underwear!  It's not like I posted a full length picture...I'm actually guessing that's what the problem was!  #tease
  • I haven't been able to control anything, and I mean anything, that has gone in my mouth for the past 4 weeks.  I can't help it, shit just finds it's way in there whether I want it to or not!  #twss
  • I secretly LOVE that Norah refuses, on purpose, to say "Daddy, Dada, Dad-o" or any other form of the word Dad, which drives The Husband absolutely bat shit crazy!  #mommasgirl
  • I will NEVER get tired of watching Something Borrowed, it's the best lazy Sunday afternoon movie! I'm totally team Rachael, all the way!  #dexishot
  • I have a million blog post topics on my phone, but can never seem to find the motivation to actually sit down and ever write them!  How do y'all do it, in the AM?  PM?  Same time every day?  #badblogger
  • I can't wait for The Husband to travel next week; he's been home like the last 3 weeks due to the holidays and I need a break!  #gypsyhusband
  • I'm so far OVER running that I don't know if/when I will ever go back, like ever!  5k runs, sure...anything farther, not so sure!  #needachange
  • I turn 31 in like two weeks, I'm still pretty!  #oldlady

That's all I got for this fine Wednesday!  Head on over and link up with Shannon and tell us what you are saying So What! to this week!

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

2013 - YEAR IN REVIEW...

Twenty-Thirteen was most definitely AMAZING but I know the BEST is yet to come!
I've done this "year in review" questionnaire for the last five years, man that seems like a long time!
If you want to enjoy some blasts from the past here you go; 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008 !

1. What did you do in 2013 that you'd never done before? 
10-K Groundhog Run! Plastic Surgery! All-inclusive 7 night Cancun Vacation (sans children)! Tough Mudder! Chiefs Game! Half Marathon!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
My 2013 resolutions were: 1. Keep Running - First Half Marathon in September with Molly! Then Route 66 Half in November!, 2. Complete ORB, 3. Keep finding myself as an individual - not just someone's wife and Mom.
1. Success (minus the September half)! 2. Fail! 3.Success!
In 2014 I want to: 1. Get Fit! 2. Play with my kids more! 3. Focus on Nutrition and start Cooking (some)! 4. Enjoy the people that enjoy me!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Chelsea had Jayden! Madeline had Camille! Leslie had Jett! 

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Don't think so...horrible answer, but I don't...

5. What countries did you visit?
Mexico!
 
6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013? 
Focus!

7. What dates from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
March 5th...
April 19th...
April 30th...
September 15th...
September 21st...
November 1st...
November 24th...
 
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
This is a tie between completing the Tough Mudder and the Route 66 Half Marathon.

9. What was your biggest failure?
It's lame, but not losing all the weight I said I wanted too... 

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had my boobs done in March, but that's like elective injury! I found out I have bursitis in my left hip and had a bout with ITBS, I got a huge cortisone shot in my hip and did PT for about 6-8 weeks and that issue seemed to be resolved! No major illnesses thankfully for myself or family!

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Our new living room furniture!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? 
Our daycare provider, Tonya!  I don't even like calling her our "daycare provider" she is more like family!  She has always loved Jack and Norah like her own and treats them so, so, so well!  We are truly lucky to have her and cherish her more then she will probably ever know!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
This is such a loaded question.  But I honestly have zero desire to do the petty, HS BS, jealous girl thing anymore - I'm just not interested.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills and Children... 
 
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My new and improved boobs!  Eek!

16. What song will always remind you of 2012?
We Can't Stop - Miley Cyrus

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
Happier, Thinner, Richer...

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Internalized, Journaled, Blogged...

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Wasted time focused on and worried about the "what if"? 

20. How did you spend Christmas? 
The norm - family and gifts
 
21. Did you fall in love in 2013?
I fell in love with my newest BFF, Molly. I only met her 13 short months ago, but I honestly don't know how I survived the previous 29 years without her! 

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Criminal Minds...
 
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No, this is a dumb ass question.
 
24. What was the best book you read?
I sucked at reading books this year and can't remember anything of merit.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I'm really trying to find my love for country music; Luke Bryan, Florida Georgia Line, Blake Shelton...

26. What did you want and get?
Again, the boobs...

27. What did you want and not get?
A hot ass bod...

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
The Perks of being a Wallflower...

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned the Dirty Thirty on Jan. 25th!  I spent the weekend with great friends and ran my first 10-K in Kansas City!  

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
For all my "dreams" to have come true...

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?
I don't HATE pants!

32. What kept you sane?
Working Out, Girlfriends, Vodka and Rum Chata...

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Adam Levine...

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
I don't really keep up with politics, oh shit gasp... 

35. Who did you miss?
Brecken

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Since I got to meet her in person this year, I'm going to say Lori (and Jenni) in Chicago!

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013.
The majority of people suck! But then there are the few that rock! To those that rock...I mucho big puffy heart love you long time! To those that suck, fuck off.  Lesson learned...don't force a relationship/friendship, it's a complete waste of time. Instead focus on the relationships that are two-way (or three-way) streets; you should get the same value out of any relationship that you put into it!
 
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"I gotta little drunk last night..." Eli Young Band