Who Knew...

Boobs would be such an interesting and fun topic to discuss with all of my virtual BFFs!  After my last post announcing my Blogging Hiatus, I received numerous emails from ladies wanting and hoping that I'd still share all the deets about my upcoming Boobie Makeover...I mean who can say no to women wanting to hear all about you and your boobs?  I'll tell you who can't...this girl right here!  I'm a self-admitted Attention Whore so of course I'll tell you everything you want to hear and more, much, much more that you probably don't want to know...but you take the good with the bad I guess!

Lindsey over at A Plane Doctor, His Nurse and 3 Little Passengers and I were emailing last night about the upcoming boobie makeover and below is what I told her about the upcoming procedure.  This pretty much covers everything I know at this point.

Well I'm not getting implants! Ha. I have D's already and honestly wouldn't mind if they were smaller!

 

So I'm just getting a lift. I originally thought a small implant was what I needed/wanted before I went to my consultation. Someone had told me that if you go over the muscle it gives you like an "instant lift" - that's a lie! Haha!

Dr. Old Balls said that my boobs are too big and too heavy (nice way to say saggy) that an implant would only make them bigger and heavier. He said I still have enough good breast tissue that I just need a lift. I even asked about an implant with the lift and he said not unless I wanted them bigger - which again, I don't!

He point blank said what are your biggest complaints? What do you want out of the procedure? I said I want them back up where they are supposed to be and I want them evened out.

My right boob is WAY bigger then my left - probably a good 1/2 cup size. Everything pulls to the right side - all my clothes and bras! And stripes - can't wear them because the stripes like go downhill to the left! LOL! A v-neck shirt or dress? The "v" is always off to the right, never centered. And when I don't have a shirt or bra on - my right nipple is literally a good inch lower than the left!

I told Dr. OB that I had two concerns with a lift - I have always said that I would never do a lift...

Concern #1 - That the idea of a lift scared me because I love my nipples - the sensation (and yes I've had my nipples pierced twice in my life) not the appearance! ;-) And that the thought of someone cutting my nipple off, moving it and then sewing it back on scared the BEJESUS out of me! He quickly said, " I do not cut your nipple off! No, no, no! Your nipple will never be unattached from you breast!" He said that a permanent loss of sensation is like less than half of 1% and that in the "old days" (like his balls) it was more common, but that the techniques have really evolved and that loss of sensation is so, so rare these days! He did say that some women have a temporary loss or decrease in sensation, but that it only lasts like 60-90 days. Concern #1 Resolved! Score! 1 Point to the Dr. with the Old "Heavy" Balls...

Concern #2 - How would a lift solve my asymmetry issue? I always assumed an implant would be the only way to even them out! You know a little more saline in the left one kind of thing? He explained that before he does the actual lift he will liposuction my bigger boob to take the volume down to match closer to the smaller one. Then once he was satisfied with that, he would do the actual lift procedure. I asked him if that would for sure make them even. He was quick and honest to point out that they will probably not be perfect! He said, "They won't be exactly the same, if God can't make you perfect, I can't make you perfect!" But he assured me that there will be a great improvement from how uneven they are now! I was satisfied with his answer and even appreciated his honesty and real-ness about the issue! Concern #2 Resolved!  Chalk up another Point for the Balls!
So that's my Boobie Story and I'm sticking to it!

So that is basically what I know right now!  I went for my pre-op appointment yesterday morning, it was uneventful - really they just wanted my money!  Who knew you had to pre-pay for plastic surgery?  I also tried to get them to submit to my insurance company, yeah so don't bother with that, they won't do it!  However, this did happen...

Then I was talked into this...peer pressure is a Bitch!

Surgery is scheduled for next Tuesday, March 5th at 9:00am CST!  I'm super excited and not nervous at all...YET!  And I'm honestly just worried about post-op, the pain and uncomfortableness don't sound so pleasing!  Neither do the fact that I might not get to shower for 5 days...more on that later!

I will update as much as I can next week, but if you want more "real-time" updates as shit goes down make sure you are following me on my Home Girl, Instagram @ darci_spear

Holy Old Heavy, Hair Balls!  I've missed you Girls! xoxo