Sorry... I'm not sorry, but I'm just not over the above incident yet! Ha! Yesterday afternoon, after trying everything I could think of short of snorting Spark up my nose to get THE smell away... side note: let me tell you...nothing worked, like nothing... it led me to thinking about all the things that annoy the shit out of me at the gym; the types of things that automatically get you scratched from the Friend list! Thus I give to you...
We Can't Be Friends...Gym Edition!
We can't be
FRIENDS if...
{ONE} You smell. Period. There are multiple ways to smell, none of which are acceptable! Let's see...you have straight up Body Odor - like the onion, mustard, make me vomit instantly kind! You find it necessary to give yourself a fresh bath in your perfume, cologne, body spray, axe, whatever! Your mouth smells, as in your BREATH! Like
GROSS, Bro!
{TWO} You are a "Gym Creep". This is for the dudes, you know who you are! If I don't know you OR given you the impression that I want to know you (let's be clear here, this never happens) - please don't stare at me, wink at me, wave to me or approach me! Like ever! It's
WEIRD, Bro!
{THREE} You make noise. Whether it's singing to the music playing in your
head ear buds or the music playing on the gym stereo, for the LOVE of all things gym - do not sing! I don't care if you sound like Miranda Lambert or Blake Shelton, I still don't want to hear it! NO ONE wants to hear it! Yes, in case you are wondering, the humming..it's just as bad! *Side Note: The people that don't wear ear buds...they geek me out!* Then we also have the grunting, oh the grunting! Now, I get it, a grunt every now and then is tolerable... however grunting, moaning and groaning with every.single.rep is NOT! Go
LIGHTER, Bro!
{FOUR} You abuse the Water Fountain. Do not spit in the water fountain. Do not put your lips on the water fountain spout. Do not hover over the water fountain spout and pant, breath all over it.
WTF, Bro!
{FIVE} You compete with me, or any other female at the gym. This is for the ladies, I'm all for having a source of motivation/inspiration don't get me wrong, but if you are
that girl that comes to the gym on the daily just looking to compete with the other girls at the gym you might be cray! You are the girl that wears the H2T coordinated outfits, the girl that stares at my treadmill screen, the girl that eyeballs me from across the room, the girl that always leaves her hair down, that stares at herself in the mirror but is also constantly scanning the other women to see who is also looking her way. Yeah,
THAT girl, Bro!
{SIX} You dress all sorts of wrong. I've witnessed flip flops in the gym, shorts on guys that basically shoved their balls in my face, people in jeans, men in jorts (this should never happen - anywhere), women in moo moo's, or the sin of all gym clothes sins - the SAME outfit every.single.day! Wash that
SHIT, Bro!
{SEVEN} You bring your kids
in the gym! I'm all about bringing your kids to the gym and dropping them off at the daycare! However, bringing your kids in the gym - like in the gym, one in a stroller and one walking around, why!? It's annoying, stupid, distracting, but most of all it isn't
safe! Use the damn
DAYCARE, Bro!
{EIGHT} You bring your laptop in the gym, set it up like a TV and proceed to do a workout DVD...right there in the gym! I mean, what!? Stay
HOME, Bro!
{NINE} You are dirrrty, and not in the good Christina Aguilera way! For the love of God and all the MF'n signs hanging up every 5-10 feet instructing you to do so - wipe down your equipment/machines! It's not hard! It takes seconds! Just
DO IT, Bro!
I hate to leave it on an odd number, but such is life!
Now, you tell me...do we agree on these things? What's YOUR biggest gym pet peeve!?
