Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Hunt'n For The Muff

One afternoon at work, there I was just Excel'n my brain to the skull-bone thing, when I randomly glance over at my phone and see I have a new Facebook notification!  Break Time!  I pick up my phone and begin to read a new post on my timeline from Tonya, our amazing Daycare Provider...

I got a Proud Mommy Moment for you, but maybe you should sit down for's how it went:
  "Hey Honya, guess what?!  Me and my Daddy and Coco ... oh and Papa, we are all going to go muff hunting this weekend!" 
Yep, that's right, you read that correctly, MUFF HUNTING! You should be SO proud!

I replied right away, well after I stopped laughing hysterically, and asked if she was sure that's what he was saying!  She confirmed that he was indeed saying muff hunting and that he had said it multiple times and to multiple people throughout the afternoon.  I, of course, was all "I don't even know where he would have heard the word muff, but it wasn't from me because I don't say muff, I say crotch!"

Once I got to her house for pickup I again asked her if she was sure, she said yes and to ask him myself if I didn't believe her!  I honestly thought she was just  misunderstanding the word he was saying because I had zero clue where the word muff would have come from, for real!  I'm the first to admit that I say a lot of things in front of my kids that probably aren't the most appropriate, but I never use the word muff - for anything, well, other then muffins, I guess but I mean there's "ins" on the end! So I asked him...

Me: Jack what are you doing this weekend with Daddy and Papa?
Jack: Going muff hunt'n!
Me: Nooooooo! Shed! You are going shed hunting!
Jack: Ooooooh yeah, shed hunt'n! I tuhgot what it was called.
Me: Jack, do you know what muff means?
Jack: No...
Me: It's another word for vagina! 
            Jack's face immediately goes to an "O" face and he puts his hands over his mouth...
Me: Yeah, you've been telling everyone all day that you are going vagina hunting!
Jack (giggling): Buh-gina! Ooooooh no! Not buhgina hunt'n!... Hey Honya! Girls have a buhgina, boobies and bottom! Boys have a penis, balls and bottom...and tiny boobies!  Honya, you have a buhgina and it's right here (pointing to his crotch) in the middle! My Momma's is in the middle, so is yours and No-wahs!
Yes, he knows what a vagina is...he asked, I told him. Sorry, not sorry! I wasn't going to make up some weird nickname for it, but if you did/do/have/will then more power to ya! I just don't roll like that and to each their own.
Jack (singing): Buh-gina! Buh-gina! Girls have a buhgina!
Me: Jack, stop! That's enough body parts for today!

End Scene...

You're Welcome...for the laugh or that it's over, either is fine with me!


  1. OMG I love it!!! That is great stuff right there!

  2. Ha! I aspire to be the mom you are now!! Too funny!

  3. You should always tell kids the correct names for body parts! I mean, you don't make up stupid names for arms and legs so why would you for a penis or a vagina!